Safest Place to Hide
by Kavi Leighanna
Summary: Alex and Bobby are on the run to solve the case of a dead teacher. They didn't expect the haunting eyes and deadly nightmares. BA
1. Chapter 1

**Safest Place to Hide**

**Summary: **Death at a culinary school leads Eames and Goren on a confusing case that is not as it appears to be. Twists, turns and confusing clues lie around every corner as danger builds in the shroud of the journey.

**Pairing:** Alex/Bobby eventually.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own them unfortunately. I write as wishful thinking.

**Author's Note:** I'm so glad Kathryn Erbe's bio is back on NBC! I was so scared that she wasn't coming back or something… thanks to EveLGW for pointing out that it was back! You made my day!**

* * *

**

The body lay on the sidewalk, bruised and bloody. Detective Alexandra Eames looked over the wreckage with slightly sympathetic eyes. The ground was bloody around the body and it had gathered a lot of eyes around. Alex looked up at the old buildings around then to the broken windows around. They came from the school behind the body.

"Four gunshots to the head and upper chest," her partner, Detective Robert Goren, supplied. Alex jotted this down in her notes, only half of her attention on Bobby. Of course, it wasn't as if this was something new. Alex Eames and Bobby Goren had a connection that allowed them the security of half attention. One picked up some of the clues, the other filled in the blanks. Thus, the other half of Alex's attention was on the rest of the scenery. It was difficult because something else was eating at the back of her mind. She'd felt eyes on her from the instant she'd stepped into the crowd and it wasn't from the general watchers. Someone, it felt, was watching only her.

It didn't seem to matter to anyone else. Regardless, Alex kept the corner of her eye on the crowd, noticing any suspicious people. As she turned her head, something caught her eyes. It was another set of eyes, these ones less threatening and more curious. It gave Alex shivers to hold his gaze. It didn't matter. Alex continued, moving away from the body and her partner, counting the random shells that littered the ground. Mentally counting in her head, Alex let out a hiss. All of shells added to an entire clip.

"Someone was angry." Alex resisted the urge to jump and spin to rip him a new one. She was on edge already, jumpy from the hairs on the back of her neck and how they were standing on end. Instead she turned slowly, facing Bobby. A slight raise of the eyebrow indicated to him he needed to fill in at least a few of the blanks.

"The shots are scattered. Not only that, but look at how many shots were fired? Four hits, none of which were close together. There was nothing calm or collected about this." Bobby had noticed Alex's jumpy disposition. It worried him. Alex was an unshakable rock and he didn't like that she was so unsteady now. Vaguely, he wondered what was going through her head, why she was so afraid. He watched her carefully as she picked up one of the shell casings with a gloved hand.

"The shells are .38 calibre."

"We've got rookies looking for the gun," he assured her, his hand on her back steering her towards the crowd. "We've got to talk to the guy who found him."

The man who found him turned out to be the same guy that Alex's eyes had met across the crowd. As she met his eyes again, the feeling of shivers didn't go away. It felt like he was watching her.

"Detective Eames and Detective Goren, Major Case," Bobby said. "You found our victim?"

"Horace Mitchell. He runs the school, Art of Cuisine. I work with him."

"And you are…?"

"Patrick Sparks. Horace and I had been friends since I started teaching with him seven years ago."

"He didn't have any enemies?" His eyes hadn't left Alex's face from the moment they started talking. Something about him seemed familiar and left her unsettled.

"Not that any of us knew. Every one in the school loved him." Both absorbed the information carefully. Bobby could feel Alex's nerves. He knew that it was time to end the conversation. With a quick thank you and another comforting hand on Alex's back, they returned to their work.

"Someone had to have the motive to kill him. Jealousy? Greed? Maybe the school was flourishing and someone didn't like that," Alex suggested, immersing her mind in the case and trying to keep her thoughts away from the eyes that she was sure were still following her every move. Bobby nodded, absorbing the theories and linking them with the other thoughts racing through his head.

"We'll check into employees and see if anyone had a problem." Alex nodded as they walked towards the car, turning one last time to survey the scene. Her eyes met Patrick Sparks' again, and this time she really shivered.

* * *

It was difficult for them to track down the employees of the school seeing as with the murder the day's classes had been cancelled. None of the employees had left home and those that did, turned around as soon as they were in sight of the school. They eventually managed to track down a pastry chef. They knocked on the door for the apartment of Marty Edmonds. 

"Can I help you?" The man was portly, short and chubby. He was grey and balding, something Alex was currently relating to a grandfather.

"We're from the NYPD, Detectives Eames and Goren. We just wanted to ask you a few questions about Horace Mitchell." Edmonds took a seat on one of the apartment's armchairs. He looked rather upset with the name.

"Were you close?" Alex asked, beginning to feel sorry for putting the man through the questioning.

"I wouldn't say we were close but I had infinite respect for him. He worked hard to keep everything fair in the school, regardless of threats and complaints. He balanced everything quickly and easily, always dispelling conflicts before they could get out of hand. I can't think of anyone who wanted him dead."

"No one came around the school with threats?" Bobby inquired. Edmonds considered a minute.

"We get a lot of applicants every semester and we can't take them all. I wouldn't be surprised if some of the people that didn't get accepted were upset about it. We can only fit so many students in the dormitories so we can only take that many. Our school is a lot like a university in that respect. The process is picky.

"And what is this process?" Alex asked. Edmonds took a deep breath.

"A resume, interview and cooking. If we think they have potential, we let them in."

"You keep saying we… this wasn't an individual decision?" Edmonds shook his head at Bobby's question.

"Since we all basically have to teach the person, we all get input. It was another way Horace kept things fair."

"We're going to need a copy of all of those complaints."


	2. Chapter 2

**Safest Place to Hide**

_Chapter 2 _

_Twisted

* * *

_

They managed to gather up all of the complaints from the applicants over the last three semesters. In total, the complaints and threat letters amounted to much more than Bobby or Alex had ever wanted to deal with. Even between them they'd been sequestered to one of the interview rooms for most of the night, complete with Chinese take-out boxes scattered around them.

"How many students are accepted again?" Alex asked on a heavy sigh. She'd been in the precinct far too long for one night, something her partner picked up on with a smile that was very much on the sympathetic side.

"75 a semester with over 250 applicants," he responded. Alex groaned dropping her head onto her folded arms.

"Go home, Eames. This is almost done, I can finish it up." He'd known her reaction before the words had left his mouth and was rewarded with his guess as she shook her head.

"You get in to trouble without me," she answered her words muffled in her arms since she hadn't lifted her head. He chuckled, setting down his pen. She looked up, eyes pleading with him to call it a night. After all, the papers weren't going anywhere in the span of a few hours. He tried to resist the puppy eyes -- it would have been so much easier to get a start on the complaints in the morning rather than pick this up then start – but she was a practiced veteran. What he did for this woman.

"Alright, we'll call it a night, but you owe me. Pick this up tomorrow?"

"Or today, depending on how you look at it," she parried as they gathered up and filed away all the papers.

**

* * *

**

Wearily, Alex climbed the stairs to her apartment, making a mental note to take something special into the precinct the next morning for her partner. She pulled out her keys automatically but stopped when she noticed the door was slightly ajar. She withdrew her gun as she pushed the door open with her foot. Her shoes came off inside the doorway to make her footsteps quieter in the apartment. Alex had to hold in a gasp as she got a good look at her apartment. The place was in tatters, and that was just the living room. She avoided stepping through the kitchen since she wasn't wearing shoes, and most of her living room since both were scattered with broken glass. Picture frames and knickknacks were broken and off of the shelves where they normally sat. The mirror in the bathroom was smashed – in a humorous moment that was actually unwelcome, Alex felt sorry for the person that had broken it since it meant seven years of bad luck – as well as the one over her dresser in her bedroom. Her drawers were emptied over the floor and her bed actually torn apart, much like her couch and comfy armchair.

When she was sure no one else was in the apartment, she put in the proper call to the authorities. Now that she looked around it hit her that someone had rifled through all of her things. For all intents and purposes, it looked like a robbery but the rips in her furniture told her there was something more sinister in the movements. These thoughts came easily since she was much more comfortable analyzing the scene than trying to think that this was her apartment.

Soon, the place was swarming with CSU personnel and four different officers had taken a statement from her. Another thing that made her fidget was the lack of familiar faces in the crowd of officers. Thus, when she saw her partner making his way through the throng of people she almost threw herself into his arms. To her credit, he looked just as relieved to see her in one piece.

"Lewis called and said he'd heard from a friend about your apartment," he explained before she could ask. Quite frankly, Alex didn't care very much how he made it, just thankful he was there.

"Just get me out of here," she pleaded with him. He nodded, asked for her keys and made sure she was safely strapped into the passenger's side before he moved to the driver's seat. Alex didn't say a word, just continued to stare out the windshield. It made the drive to his apartment virtually silent, something that scared Bobby much more than he'd ever admit. Gently he escorted her up the stairs and into his apartment where he showered her to his bathroom. Using a soft, unthreatening voice, he suggested she get cleaned up and he'd make her a cup of coffee. Slowly, she began to comply. He left her with a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt she'd left there on one occasion or another.

It wasn't, of course, the only thing she had at his apartment – furthering his cause in getting her to stay when she'd inevitably protest to such an arrangement. It had slowly become easier for each of them to keep clothes and other toiletries for nights where business leaked over and neither really wanted to continue their work in the precinct. She had a spare coat on a hook by the door and shoes on the mat, some spare jackets in the coat closet, hangars in his clothing closet and drawers in his dresser. They'd developed a very companionable after-hours partnership since she'd been on maternity leave, something he valued above all else.

It was why her silence terrified him.

He made coffee on autopilot, listening carefully for the shower to turn off. When he did, he withdrew the mugs from the cupboard and poured Alex's 'live-giving brew' into one. When she didn't emerge ten minutes later, he began to get worried.

"Eames?" he called through the closed door.

"I'm alive," she managed to squeak out. It sounded like she'd been crying. Immediately his protectiveness sky-rocketed.

"I'm coming in," he warned her as he opened the door. Sure enough, there were tear tracks on her cheeks and her face was red. His heart instantaneously went out to her as she sat on the toilet. He hissed quietly through his teeth.

"Alex," he managed, both subconsciously realizing he'd used her first name. Gently, he pulled her up and into his arms where she gripped his t-shirt in her fists and started sobbing.

In all honesty, Bobby wasn't exactly sure what he'd meant to accomplish when he pulled her to him. It did give him a healthy insight to Alex's actual reaction to having someone paw through all of her belongings. He murmured what he hoped were reassuring things in her hair though neither would be able to actually decipher the exact words. Eventually, her tears calmed, her breathing evened out and she started to sag against him. Alex Eames had fallen asleep.

He easily lifted her into his arms and deposited her carefully on his bed, pulling up the covers around her. He lay beside, intending to watch and make sure she was actually asleep only for a few minutes. However, exhaustion soon caught up with him and he found himself falling asleep.

**

* * *

**

Bobby was jolted awake by the thrashing of the woman beside him. He above her protectively before he realized Alex was having a nightmare. Originally, he'd thought it would be better to wait it out with her, let the horror finish, work its way through her system, but a few minutes later he changed his mind. Alex didn't deserve this.

He shook her lightly, calling her name in the dark. When she did open her eyes, it took her a few minutes to remember her surroundings. When she did, and realized who was beside her, she burst into tears for the third time that night, throwing herself against the comforting length of his body. As unprepared as he'd been, his arms found their way around her body.

"It's okay, Alex," he told her softly, "you're safe here."

"God, Bobby –" she managed in between sobs. He was starting to get a little worried that she'd make herself sick and wrapped his arms a little tighter around her. Slowly, the sobs subsided and he looked down at his partner, snuggled against him. Her forehead began to crinkle in confusion as to why he was lying beside her and he tensed, ready for an outburst even as he apologized.

"I'm sorry. I'll go sleep on the couch." But Alex's small arms tightened around him, squishing his ribs only slightly as she shook her head vigourously.

"Stay here," she requested.

"Alex…" Her eyes were still teary, her grip still insistent and Bobby found himself giving in.

"Please? Just hold me?" On a normal day, those words would have frozen him. Even now it showed him how scared Alex actually was with the events of the last twelve hours. But Bobby Goren was no idiot and knew an unconditional declaration of trust when he saw one. So, he stayed, his hand tracing her back to calm the still trembling muscles.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly, his arms never stopping the caress of her back. Alex shook her head empathetically. He wanted her to talk about it, knew it was better for her to get the horror out of her system than it was to keep it bottled up. Maybe in the morning.

"Please, Bobby…" He wasn't sure what she was pleading for, but he pulled her closer anyway. He didn't fall asleep until he was sure she was.

* * *

They next morning, Bobby awoke to empty arms and puttering in the kitchen. He stayed in bed for a few moments listening. Alex, he'd discovered, had a habit of humming to the radio that she'd turn on softly while she made coffee. This morning, there was silence. Alex must have been more disturbed than he'd originally thought.

He took his time wandering into the kitchen, considering how on earth he was going to deal with his partner. She had and extra steaming much on the table when he walked in. He thanked her with a gentle smile as their eyes met and he watched her continue throwing ingredients into one of his mixing bowls. He got curious when she moved about his kitchen, opening and closing cupboards.

"What are you looking for?" he asked.

"Chocolate," she answered simply. That was not a good sign. For Alex, chocolate was an indulgence for the worst of times. As he lifted her mug from where she'd set it by the sink he realized she'd made coffee for him, but hot chocolate for herself. He took a few steps of precaution away from her before he spoke next.

"I don't have any," he confessed with a wince. Alex dropped her hand to her side in defeat. He tried so hard then to placate her before she exploded, or worse, shut down.

"We'll go shopping after work."

"I was going to stay with family. I couldn't impose on you for another night," she protested immediately. Part of him was thankful she'd taken the change of subject instead of either of the other reactions he'd expected, but the other part realized it hadn't occurred to him that she wouldn't be staying.

"It's not imposing at all, Alex," he tried to assure her. In reality, now that he got a chance to think about it, he would feel much better until her robber was caught that Alex was staying with him.

"I can't…" Her tone of voice contradicted her words. He was her safe haven and had been extremely understanding with her nightmare and shock.

"It would make things easier. You wouldn't have to drive to pick me up, you have clothing and toiletries already here and it's not like you haven't slept over here before." He sincerely hoped his voice wasn't as pleading as he thought it sounded. Still, he found himself pleading with his eyes for her to understand everything he wasn't saying. Alex felt herself giving in.

"We don't know when I'll be able to go back," she pointed out.

"It doesn't matter." Alex let out a sigh.

"I'll stay for a while," she conceded. Bobby managed to hold in his happy smile.

"I'm going to have a shower." She smiled as she watched him leave, surprised he'd been so adamant about her staying with him. With a shrug, she continued with her mixing. After all, the least she could do for him then was cook breakfast.

* * *

It was Bobby's turn to be surprised when he emerged from the bathroom. The smells that were wafting through his apartment were making his mouth water. Alex had plates of pancakes on the table with all of the fixings. His mouth opened in awe at everything she'd done. It made him slightly guilty about having to make her talk to him. They ate in general silence but Alex could tell something was on Bobby's mind.

"Alex?" She couldn't help her smile at the use of her first name again.

"Yes, Bobby?"

"Are you… Do you remember anything about… a nightmare?" Alex sighed. When she woke up with her body cuddled against his a few things hadn't made sense. Slowly, her memory had returned in bits and pieces. Her mind vividly remembered her nightmare but the rest was pretty blurry.

"Bits and pieces," she answered honestly.

"Your nightmare?" It was a hesitant question and she could tell he only wanted to help. Still, she wasn't ready to discuss it.

"Can we not talk about it?" she pleaded. "Let's think about who we want to talk to first today." Bobby allowed Alex to drop the conversation but his eyes told her he intended to discuss it at some point. Hers held his answer.

_Soon._

* * *

The person they decided to look into was a woman who had sent multiple letters only to the victim. Lisa Moss was a Manhattan native and hand applied for all three semesters they'd looked into. She lived with her parents, they'd found out, and had a rough plan of attack as they approached the house and knocked on the door. A young blonde woman answered.

"Lisa Moss?" Alex asked, presenting her badge.

"Yeah, what can I help you with?"

"We just have a few questions about your involvement in Art of Cuisine Culinary School."

"I've applied three times and gotten turned down each time," she answered, waving the detectives inside. As they took in the house, they noticed five children in front of a movie in the den. Thus, Lisa led them past to the kitchen.

"Sorry about all the kids. I baby-sit to make ends meet with my schooling. The culinary school would have been my breakthrough," she explained motioning them to take a seat. Alex and Bobby nodded in understanding.

"Your… letter," Bobby began, pulling it out in the evidence bag. "It was violent." Lisa sighed.

"I was upset about being turned down for the third time. I blew away each of the other judges except Mitchell. I just figured he had something against me personally and it hurt. I was angry."

"I understand but did it really require such a… visual letter?" Bobby asked, waving his hand as he searched for words.

"My dream is to go to culinary school and my parents and I don't really have enough money for me to go anywhere else. The threat was just words, I could never actually go through with it." Her eyes narrowed. "What is this about?"

"Where were you two nights ago?" Alex asked, avoiding her question.

"At home with both of my parents. We watched some action movie and went to bed. Why?"

"Do you own a gun?"

"My dad owns one. He's never felt safe without it."

"Can we see it?" Alex was pulling gloves out of her pocket before they'd even gotten an answer. Lisa lifted the gun box from on top of the shelf and pulled it open.

"It's gone!" she gasped, turning the empty box to the detectives. Alex took the box from the woman's shaking hands.

".38 calibre, a Smith and Wesson," she told her partner. "Who else has access to this?"

"My parents both know where it is and we hide it from the kids…"

"Did either of her parents ever mention that they were going to take it anywhere?" Bobby inquired. Lisa shook her head, her hand over her mouth in shock.

"I… don't… Oh my God."

"Miss Moss, we're going to need you to tell us everything about this gun and the people who know about it."

Lisa nodded.


	3. Chapter 3

**Safest Place to Hide**

_Chapter 3_

_Worries

* * *

_

The statements took the rest of the afternoon as well as the beginning of the calls they had to make to track down alibis. The Moss women were clear but the father's alibi was sketchy at best. However, Alex and Bobby saw he was standing by his words. It wasn't worth holding him until they had the forensic evidence to back it up.

Thus, Deakins had directed them to go home for the night. Half way to his apartment, Alex pulled off the highway wrinkling her nose in remembrance. Bobby saw the movement.

"What?"

"We need to go shopping," she reminded him. He wondered why she was so bend on shopping with him but managed to curb his curiosity.

At least until they picked up the cart. Alex patiently explained that if she was going to stay with him, she could at least find some way to earn her keep. It was going to start with a half-decently healthy meal. When he'd tried to protest, Alex had pointed out that it was always better to cook for two rather than just one. So they worked their way systematically through the aisles of the supermarket, pulling things off of the shelves for various breakfasts and dinners including Alex's chocolate. Bobby had only smiled as she wandered back to the cart with a package of chocolate chips in her grasp.

It turned out to be a rather domestic trip and one that was much more enjoyable than either had originally thought. They had the same "shopping style" when it came to the way they went about getting everything they needed – one end of the store to the other – and similar tastes in foods.

Finally, Alex deemed it time to leave. The woman that rang up their purchases, an elderly woman, smiled kindly as she worked. Alex and Bobby walked away with a distinct feeling that the woman thought they were more than just friends and colleagues. To her surprise, Alex found herself wishing it was true, especially when Bobby's hand went to her back.

Once back at his apartment, Alex unloaded only enough to begin dinner, leaving the rest on the table. Bobby watched from the door as she went about cooking. She stopped for a moment to meet his gaze.

"You don't have to stand there you know. I don't mean to ruin your routine." He couldn't help the smile that her words brought to his face.

_You already have,_ he thought to himself, but he couldn't find it in himself to actually care. She looked at home in his kitchen. Unbidden, his thoughts took a turn towards the woman currently cooking dinner as he went to change out of his suit. She looked incredibly comfortable in his space and he'd had a hard time getting the image of Alex in his bed out of his mind. He wandered back into the kitchen, taking over for Alex while she changed.

I was easy to fall into such a domestic relationship with his partner. It wasn't the first time she'd been over, it was actually a fairly normal occurrence. Her hand on his shook him out of his thoughts as she gently extracted his wooden spatula from his grip. She smiled as he took a seat at the table and couldn't curb the impulse to play up their domesticity.

"So honey, how was your day?" The question took Bobby by surprise and Alex laughed at the look on his face. On his end, he wondered why she'd asked. After all, it wasn't as if she didn't spend her entire day with him, but he played along anyway.

"Not as stressful as usual, but my partner and I managed to uncover a few interesting developments in our case. It should make for a fascinating next couple of weeks. How was your day, sweetheart?" Alex couldn't hold in a giggle. Turnabout was fair play and she'd started it.

"Much the same, though my partner got a little too wrapped up in the case. It's actually no problem but he tends to forget to take care of himself, especially his stomach." Her words were said with a smile to soften the sting. He looked guiltily at the table top knowing she was completely right. Thank goodness for Alexandra Eames.

The exact woman he was thinking about laughed as she watched him. Something warm sparked in his heart at his partner's obvious comfort and knowledge of his space and of him.

"Looks delicious, Alex," he complimented as she set a bowl on the table between them. He ate carefully, chewing thoughtfully as Alex watched apprehensively.

"Fantastic," Bobby said in praise, meaning it from the bottom of his heart. Contrary to popular belief, Alex was a fantastic cook, a skill she proved to him constantly. She blushed lightly and turned back to eating though with a smug smile on her lips. He couldn't help but chuckle at her obvious self-appreciation. Her eyes met his with amusement, even if her face showed annoyance. Her next words weren't a surprise.

"Shut up."

* * *

The eyes followed her as she ran. She couldn't get away from the eyes. The door she was running towards opened and she breathed out a sigh of relief. However, her apartment – or what she assumed was supposed to be her apartment since she'd recognized the door as hers – wasn't as safe as she'd thought. It was as clean and neat as it usually was but it still felt like someone was watching her. Sure enough, a hand grasped her around her neck and waist, holding her no matter how hard she struggled.

"Alex…" The voice was distant and the gun was pointed at her head.

"No!" Alex pleaded as the arm around her throat tightened. "Please no!"

She couldn't understand why she was so scared, so helpless, and didn't know where her heart of a cop had disappeared to in her time of need. She was a scared, shivering mass, cowering away from the gun and the arms around her. She was shaking horribly, rocking back and forth, and her knees felt like rubber. She could hear the safety on the gun being cocked and she began to sob in earnest.

"Alex!" This time the voice was closer and louder, and a little bit familiar.

"Please," she choked out in tears, "don't shoot me." The gun went off. Alex screamed… and woke up with tears streaming down her face.

It took her a few minutes to remember where she was and what had happened. She looked around as best she could through the tears and found her partner sitting beside her. Instinctively, she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms in a death grip around his chest. His arms cradled her body gently, pulling her into his lap. The words he whispered were just as incoherent as they'd been the previous night but neither particularly cared.

Alex's scream had shaken Bobby to the core. The pure horror in the sound turned his blood to ice and had him rocketing into his bedroom where he'd insisted Alex sleep. He found her tossing and turning, but didn't move from the door. Now, she clung to him like he was her only safe haven, the warm cocoon of his arms the sturdiest of castle walls. He was humbled by the trust she put in him.

Alex felt Bobby settle them against the pillows, pulling blankets around them and adjusting her so she lay at his side, the same way as the night before. Finally, knowing she was safe and unconditionally protected, Alex drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Bobby was the first to wake up the next morning, much to his surprise. As gently as he could he slid out of bed, leaving Alex to sleep. In all honesty, it scared him how shaken Alex was over this obvious nightmare. It pushed him to want to get this case over with much faster than they were.

He made it out of the shower before Alex woke up, pleased to see she was sleeping peacefully. She'd rolled into the spot he'd vacated and buried her head in his pillow. He grinned at the innocent picture she made, and watched her for a little while longer. Then, knowing Alex would be out of bed quickly if she smelled the brew, went to put on coffee and start breakfast.

Alex woke up to the smell of coffee. She stretched in the spot, smelling her partner. She took her time getting out of bed. Her head hurt, painfully, but she managed to pull herself out of her partner's bed and stumble into the kitchen. Bobby was already pouring two mugs of coffee. If she looked like hell, he didn't comment on it. Instead, he handed her a gently steaming mug.

"Good morning, and thank you," she said quietly.

"No problem," He paused. Alex braced herself for his inevitable questions or great "I'm-sorry-but-I'm-losing-sleep-by-staying-up-with-you-after-a-nightmare"…

"Alex?" She realized she'd missed the question. He was around her face her, setting his mug on the counter.

"Are you okay?" Her face contorted in confusion.

"What?"

"Two nights where you woke up in tears, Alex."

"It's just a nightmare, Bobby. I'll go stay with my parents if it's a problem."

"No!" His immediate response shocked both of them in its enthusiasm. "It's not necessary." Alex sighed, not particularly wanting to fight with him.

"It'll pass, Bobby," she assured, brushing past him and setting her own mug by his. Bobby sighed as she left to have a shower. He hadn't wanted to put her on the defensive, and definitely hadn't wanted her to think he wanted him to leave. He was worried about her and this nightmare's effect. He'd always had a hard time discussing his feelings, especially when it had to do with his partner. He had this habit of treading on eggshells with Alex to make sure she stayed. He valued her input, her opinions and her ability to balance him completely. She fended off rumours, protected his reputation and grounded him. He wasn't prepared to lose that.

Bobby hadn't realized how deep into his thoughts he was until Alex settled a hand on his arm. She smiled in apology to her previous comments.

"Come on. We'll stop somewhere on the way."


	4. Chapter 4

**Safest Place to Hide**

_Chapter 4_

_Haunted_

* * *

Alex sat at her desk the next week pondering the pages in front of her. At least, that's what passers by would have assumed. However, there was way too much going on in her head to actually be focused. 

Her nightmare had left her on edge and reluctant to look at the Mitchell case. It hadn't necessarily changed her ability to do her job but it didn't help that it always felt like someone was watching her while she was trying to work. Bobby had been nothing but supportive and understanding through each of her nightmares. Together they developed a domestic routine even if the warrants they were looking for were taking forever.

"Detective Eames?" Alex looked up to find a tech from CSU with a folder in his hand.

"Report for the gun we ended up finding," he explained. Alex thanked him and opened the file. It was that moment that her partner showed up from a lunch run.

"Forensics came back on the gun," Alex explained lifting the up folder. "Looks like the gun is a match to the shells. It's the gun that killed Mitchell. And they found two different sets of prints." Bobby's eyebrows sky-rocketed to his hairline.

"Two sets?"

"Mr. Moss and an unknown. They're in the process of running them through the databases as we speak," she filled in. He nodded the wheels already turning in his head.

"For now, the father's our only lead, and he has a solid motive. Let's bring him in."**

* * *

**

Mr Moss sat in the interrogation room his head in his hands. Alex, Bobby and Deakins and Carver watched him for a few moments in the observation room. It had taken them a week to get him in, with a backup of warrants and Moss' trip for business.

"Let's get a confession and close this case, shall we?" Carver suggested as Bobby and Alex left. On their way to the interrogation room door – a whole six or seven steps – Alex glanced out into the squad room. Only one pair of eyes caught hers from across the room and Alex shivered. They were the same eyes that haunted her nightmares. The confusion of seeing Patrick Sparks in the precinct annoyed her and made her nervous at the same time. Bobby's hand on her arm broke her staring contest and brought her plummeting back to earth.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, discretely scanning the room over her head.

"Let's just finish this? You can cook me dinner tonight, okay?" He smiled at her as he opened the door.

"I promise," he whispered as she passed him.

"Mr Moss," Alex began, suddenly all business, setting her files on the table, "We've got a few questions for you."

"We found your fingerprints on the gun used to kill Horace Mitchell," Bobby began. They'd decided to keep the fact that it was his gun a secret in the beginning.

"I wasn't there! I don't know how they managed to get on it, but I didn't kill anyone."

"Your daughter, Lisa, was turned down three times from Mitchell's culinary school in Manhattan. You were upset?" Bobby asked, taking a seat beside his partner.

"Of course I was upset. Lisa is a brilliant cook, my wife and I are so proud of her. We were appalled they turned her down, especially since her boyfriend told her she was a shoo-in for the school. We knew he was bad news from the beginning. Lisa wouldn't listen."

"Boyfriend?" This was the first both Alex and Bobby had heard of a boyfriend. Moss nodded.

"Patrick Sparks." Alex held in the shiver at the name.

"How long have they been dating?" Bobby asked, noticing Ale's reaction. Until she regained her composure, he'd take over.

"A… year and a half maybe?" Doing mental calculations, Bobby realized that it meant they'd been dating…

"They've been dating since the first time she applied."

"He promised to get her into the school, but it didn't work. That… Mitchell wouldn't let her in."

"So you shot him."

"No! I… even if it was my daughter, I'm not going to kill anyone about it. I love my daughter unconditionally so I'm not going to jeopardize that by killing someone. We've been saving so Lisa can apply to an out of state school and she's going to next semester."

"Mr Moss, the gun is also registered to you. Can you explain how it was found in a dumpster a few alleys away from the body?" Alex inquired, regaining her composure. He looked up.

"My gun?"

"Your daughter mentioned to us that only the family knows where you keep it," Alex pressed.

"To the extent of my knowledge…"

"The casings, the bullets… they all match," Bobby continued.

"I didn't kill that man." Both detectives were getting frustrated. Thus, the knock on the glass of the observation room came as a relief. Deakins stood in the hall with Patrick Sparks.

"He wants to talk to you." Alex had never wanted to hear those words less in her life but a quick glance between her and Bobby calmed her nerves.

"Right this way, Mr. Sparks." They stepped into one of the spare rooms and took a seat. Sparks didn't take his eyes away from Alex as they sat, regardless of Bobby's rather large appearance.

"I… I remembered something else." Alex almost rolled her eyes. He wouldn't have been here if it wasn't for new information. However, she still didn't trust him. It wasn't that he'd given them a reason not to trust him, but Alex trusted her gut more and her gut told her he wasn't trust worthy.

"Okay," Bobby spoke up, sitting and turning his chair around, pen poised over his portfolio. Still, Sparks' eyes did not move from Alex's.

"I remember seeing someone fighting with Horace the morning of his death." Bobby jotted this down then pulled out a picture of Moss.

"Is this him?"

"Yeah! Wait a minute, that's Lisa's dad." His eyes had left Alex's for the split second it took to look and identify the picture before returning. This action put both of the partners on edge.

To any outsider it would look as if Sparks was truly surprised by the picture in front of him. However, both partners had had their share of confusing criminal minds and could pick out a liar. Even if Sparks was not giving off the same vibes of a liar, something akin to malice flashed through his eyes.

"Is there anything else, Mr. Sparks?" Alex asked sweetly, intent on getting this done and over with. The relief that washed over her when Sparks shook his head.

"Thank you for coming it, this helps our case." Thankfully, Alex was sure she was the only person who could tell Bobby was lying. Their case was just as confusing as it had been in the beginning and a fight hours before the murder – which to any other case would be icing on the cake – didn't fit with Moss' nature or the fact that his presence had been accounted for that morning.

Alex waited until Sparks was in the elevator before slumping in her chair. Bobby was immediately at her side, worry shining in his face.

"He was lying," she said softly.

"Are you okay?"

"He gives me the creeps, I don't trust him. And in case you didn't notice his eyes didn't leave me the whole time." If there was one thing Bobby trusted above all else, it was Alex.

"Why not?"

"Something about him just doesn't add up. The name is familiar from somewhere, bad familiar."

"You can't remember where?" Alex shook her head sadly.

"I wish I could. Maybe it would make this haunted feeling go away."


	5. Chapter 5

**Safest Place to Hide  
**  
_Chapter 5 _

Comfort

* * *

The case had taken a toll on Alex, something that the rest of the precinct was beginning to notice. Her relaxing night had been cut short when they'd been pulled in for a different case. Thus, they'd postponed it until tonight. She sat in his spot on the couch while Bobby cooked dinner. It was the first time they'd had a full night off since the beginning of the Mitchell case three weeks prior and Bobby had been adamant about her relaxation. Both had hoped that a free Friday night also meant a free weekend. They'd already been run in circles with conflicting evidence and three weeks was much too long for such a trying case. 

"Honey?" Alex called, her voice holding the humour he'd come to expect with the endearment.

"Yes, dear?" Since he was in the kitchen he missed the smile of contentment at his reply. They threw the names around at home without worry or care.

"How's dinner coming?" Alex was not only starving, but slightly bored. While she understood he wanted to do this for her it was the first time in the three weeks they'd been living together that she hadn't cooked dinner. It wasn't that he made her, it was something she did, and as nice as it was that he'd taken over, it left her with nothing to do. That wasn't mentioning her unwittingly skipping lunch in worry over one thing or another and the fact that she hadn't eaten since.

"Almost." He hadn't let her into the kitchen since they'd returned home. She knew he was worried about her stress level and how she wasn't sleeping well with her nightmare. She appreciated how he didn't push for answers.

Their domestic relationship had changed considerably since they'd 'moved in' together. Slowly, Bobby and Alex had uncovered other little things about each other that had also positively affected their work. However, the most major change was their sleeping arrangements. Since Bobby had ended up with Alex in his bed almost every night since she'd been staying with him, they both realized the uselessness of trying to sleep separate. Alex had all but friend his brain when she'd come out of his bedroom unable to sleep

_He was on the couch, moments from falling asleep, when movement caught his gaze. Alex was playing with her hands at his feet._

_"Alex?" he questioned, his voice groggy._

_"I can't sleep," she answered. Immediately he was worried. They'd been living together for two weeks, enough time for them to want to change their relationship to something more permanent, but Alex's nightmares had kept him from making the first move. This worry was not a new reaction to him._

_"Your nightmare?" He'd slowly realized the hopelessness of pushing her to tell him about her night time horror, but he knew by the way she acted and the look on her face when it was affecting her. Alex nodded._

_"I can't close my eyes," she admitted. He sat up, allowing her to curl up beside him. His arm wrapped naturally around her shoulders to pull her against him. They sat like that for a few moments._

_"Will you come sleep in bed with me?"_

The words had thrown him for a loop but he'd followed her and she'd fallen asleep quickly in his arms. It was the second major change in their relationship, one that gave them a much more intimate feeling when they worked together. It worked in the new lack of speech between them. Professionally, Bobby didn't have to walk Alex through his leaps in logic any more. She made them on her own, much to the chagrin of the rest of their co-workers. They'd connected on a whole different level.

"Alright, Alex," he called, breaking her out of her reflection. Thankfully, Alex stood, stomach rumbling in hunger. However, that feeling was abruptly shoved to the side when she caught sight of the kitchen. He'd gone all out, it seemed and the result was a rather intimate looking dinner table. She couldn't stop her jaw from dropping at the simple elegance of the entire thing.

He'd dimmed the lights and lit two candles at the table. The plates had a more formal setting to them with a dark red table cloth and white napkins. She was awed by all he'd done, just to give her something to stand on.

"Wow, Bobby. This is incredible," she told him honestly as she sat in the chair he'd pulled out for her. Then he brought dinner from the stove and Alex gasped.

"You remembered!" She said excitedly as he dished up spaghetti and meatballs. It was an old conversation they'd had over dinner.

_"My favourite dinner is spaghetti and meatballs," she said out of the blue. Bobby raised an eyebrow at the randomness of the statement and she felt she had to explain._

_"Everybody has something they can't do. Well, I can't seem to make decent meatballs for spaghetti. I haven't had meatballs in a long time. My mom used to make them all the time." This surprised Bobby. She'd been cooking dinner every night and each meal had been slightly different and just as delicious as the meal before. He'd thought she could cook anything._

_"I have a recipe for meatballs," he told her sheepishly, a feeling that had disappeared when her face lit up._

_"Really? I'd love to see it."_

_"I'll cook it for you sometime."_

And here they were, dishing the noodles, sauce and meatballs onto their plates. Alex was pretty sure she was in heaven at this point and it was only dinner. Her mind swirled with the possibilities of what else Bobby had in store for her. It touched her heart that he would do this for her.

"Thank you," she said sincerely with a smile. Something in his eyes as they met hers made her breath catch in her throat.

"You don't have to thank me," he responded softly, "You deserve it."

**

* * *

**

They lay together on the couch later that night, Alex comfortable against Bobby's side. They hadn't done anything tonight but lay back and relax, no case files, no phone calls, just them, the television and maybe a book for one or the other. It was moments like these that left Alex greedy for a more constant relationship with her partner, just for the ability to sit like this on a regular basis.

Alex's cell phone rang, interrupting their calm.

"Eames," she answered. The conversation was quick and Alex hung up, her face a variety of emotions.

"My apartment was released. I can move back in on Monday."

"That's good isn't it?" Since he hadn't noticed a trace of excitement in Alex's voice, he wasn't sure what the proper reaction should be.

"I…" she stopped for a minute to think through her words. In all honesty, Alex didn't think she was ready to return to her apartment. It was such an ingrained part of her nightmare, she didn't think she was ready to face her own walls.

"I don't think I'm ready to go back." It wasn't the first time they'd discussed her inevitable move, neither was it the first time she'd voiced her trepidation with the return. It was Bobby's only insight into Alex's nightmare. He couldn't say honestly he wanted her to go back either, but had chose not to comment.

"You're always welcome to stay here until you're comfortable with going back," he told her.

"Are you sure you don't mind? I'm sure you gave up a lot by letting me stay here for this long in the first place." She hoped the excitement of the prospect was hidden more than she thought it was. Inside she was bursting with happiness at the thought of being able to stay with her partner for longer. He smiled.

"Of course I'm sure, and I understand why you wouldn't want to move back. Take your time, Alex." The smile she rewarded him with was bright and beautiful, the kiss on the cheek more than enough payment. She snuggled up beside him again, back to being as relaxed as possible. But Alex didn't understand the effect she'd had on him.

He was honoured that she put her trust and safety in his hands like she'd been doing. It left him with an intense feeling of warmth and protectiveness that he didn't think he'd felt in a long time. He filed it away to analyze later because if Alex's yawns were any indication, it was time for bed. Lifting her into his arms he carried her to the bed and settled her gently in between the sheets. Seconds later he was beside her. He grinned as Alex rolled into him, snuggling against his body with her arms around his torso. It was a part of their developing relationship he wasn't completely used to. His arms wrapped around her back, his knee lifting to accommodate her leg between his. Falling asleep became easy for both knowing and trusting they were safe, both from the outside world and their own demons.


	6. Chapter 6

**Safest Place to Hide**

_Chapter 6 _

_Connect_

* * *

Monday arrived much to quickly for Alex, especially since she and Bobby had had the most relaxing weekend she'd ever lived in her life. She'd gotten a good couple of quality nights that was nightmare-free and they'd only run errands throughout the weekend. Work took a backseat and Alex was never more thankful for it in her life. 

It gave her a new calm about the Mitchell case such that she didn't want to scream when a forensic file appeared on Bobby's desk.

"Remember the second set of prints on the gun?" Alex asked as she looked over the results. Bobby nodded, not looking up from his current report.

"The database kicked out a match." He looked as surprised as she sounded.

"It did?"

"Patrick Sparks. Threats against judges, officers… nothing in the big times."

"He would have had access to the gun. Maybe he found it?" Alex could see new theories swimming through her partner's head.

"And what? Moss was a scapegoat?"

"He would have been the perfect one. A father, upset over the fact that his precious daughter was turned down three times by the same judge…"

"What's Sparks; motive though?" Bobby shrugged turning back to his report.

"Well when you think of something let me know," Alex said, a teasing note in her voice. His smile was just as mocking.

"Don't worry, you'll know."

**

* * *

**

The drive to his apartment that night was made in a comfortable silence, as most of their car rides were these days with their ability to just know what the other was thinking. They fully enjoyed the comfort level they'd maintained in their personal lives, even as they maintained a professional relationship that was not directly affected by their current living conditions. In fact, both were pretty sure no one in the precinct was even aware they were living together.

It was a testament to how much Bobby cared for his partner than he didn't mind her sharing his space for longer than necessary. He didn't want to push her into anything she wasn't completely secure in. She thanked him in different little ways throughout their days.

They reached his apartment in good time considering New York's uncanny ability to pile up cars. Both were still wrapped up in their own thoughts from the case, so much so that everything else was done out of habit rather than concentration and awareness.

Bobby unlocked his door and allowed Alex in first. As usual, Alex dropped her laptop on his desk in the corner, case and all, before wandering into the kitchen. Bobby rolled his eyes and moved the case down beside the chair, like he always did. She smiled at him over her shoulder, the first bout of awareness they'd had since they got the print report.

"Dinner?" Bobby just shrugged leaving her to choose what to cook. Alex not only liked to cook but felt it was the least she could do for letting her stay. It was a domestic side of her she couldn't suppress and he appreciated everything she did. He took up his spot on the couch, turning on the television and flipping to the news. However, he had to turn it off soon after.

"Too depressing?" Alex called from the kitchen having heard the TV being turned off.

"If it bleeds it leads," he answered, taking up a spot at the table instead. He liked to watch her flit around the kitchen now that she was sure of where everything was. It filled an empty spot in his heart that he'd never realized existed until he sat with her the first time. Alex's smile was impish as she turned away from the oven.

"So, honey, how was your day?" It was their game beginning again. He'd been surprised the first time she asked especially since they worked together. However, after the first few times they'd done this ritual he found himself opening up and telling her his little observations about people and things throughout the day. He found the decompression supremely relaxing because it wasn't something burning at the back of his mind any more. Instead, Alex took those little things he wanted to tell someone so bad and filed them away in her own mind. They'd become touchstones and grounding rods for each other without consciously realizing it.

"We had an interesting twist in the case I'm working on, but other than that it was boring." Alex laughed at the annoyance in his tone. She loved him like this, not so guarded, no walls between them. These were the times he let his frustrations out whether he could control them or not. Alex found it rather amusing, actually.

"Poor Bobby. You had to do paperwork then?" She knew very well he'd spent most of his day tapping his pen on his desk on top of the papers. His mind was far too busy on something to concentrate on the monotony of paperwork. Alex, on the other hand, efficient as always, had systematically worked through three quarters of her pile. She couldn't wait to tease him about it. Bobby looked up at her sheepishly, knowing he'd been caught slacking off again.

"Tried." He'd learned there was no such thing as a secret in times like these. She'd learned how to work him to tell her the truth, a new skill he admired greatly in her. They'd started off slow – well Alex had started, actually – telling little bits and pieces of their lives that the other didn't get to see on a regular basis.

Suddenly, Alex tensed and darted out of the kitchen. Bobby was close on her heels as she made a beeline for his desk and her computer, letting out a sigh of affectionate annoyance when she'd noticed he'd moved the case again. She bounced her knee as she waited for the appliance to start up, her impatience showing through. He loved her when she was just as unguarded, when he could see her emotions like they were written out for him in a book. Finally, the computer had booted up and she quickly access her old files. Glancing over it quickly she found the names she'd been look ing for and sat back in triumph.

"What?" Bobby asked not following.

"Horace Mitchell was the key witness in the Mark Sparks Case. That's how I know the name. It was a big sting with Vice and Narco. He was arrested for drugs and prostitution, among other things. Mark Sparks had a son, he'd be 29 or 30 now, Patrick."

"It was your case?" Bobby asked for clarification. Alex nodded as her fingers flew over the keys, accessing her report from the old files. The pieces fell into place and Alex watched them click with supreme satisfaction. Bobby was still slightly confused.

"How does this help our case?" Alex smiled and stood, leaving her computer in favour of the dinner than had just beeped from the oven.

"Patrick Sparks killed Horace Mitchell," she stated, her self-satisfying smile growing with every step she took.

"What?"

"Remember his rap sheet? Threats." Then it started to vaguely make sense.

"He went through with them."


	7. Chapter 7

**Safest Place to Hide**

_Chapter 7 _

_Making Sense_

* * *

They walked into One Police Plaza together the next morning with an entirely new outlook in mind. Since Sparks was in the system for threats, Mitchell was the key witness in putting his father in jail and Sparks and Mitchell worked together at the school, he had means, motive and opportunity. Not to mention it was simple to frame Moss for the killing since he was upset that his daughter had not been accepted. Furthermore… 

"He must have seen the gun when he was over there. The perfect scapegoat and the perfect murder weapon to frame him," Alex was saying as she removed her coat and settled it on the hangar closest to her desk.

"It's a stretch," Bobby protested.

"He had motive in revenge," she shot back.

"For putting his father in jail? All of our witnesses say they were best friends." Bobby was still having a hard time putting all of the clues together.

"Bobby, all of the threats were documented, hell, I filed a complaint. Plus, what better way to get close to someone than to become their friend?"

"Why didn't he strike before now? You said it yourself, the case is six years old," he pointed out. Alex rolled her eyes as she sat, Bobby following soon after.

"By attacking now it looks like the cases are totally different…"

"Separate cases. He thought we wouldn't connect them. He had a scapegoat in Moss… he was Lisa Moss' boyfriend giving him access to the gun." It was slowly started to make sense.

"I'll talk to Carver about search and arrest warrants," Bobby volunteered, having stayed standing.

"And I'll talk to Deakins," Alex responded with a smile.

* * *

Carver presented them with a warrant the next day. They exchanged grins as Bobby helped Alex with her coat and she grabbed the keys. 

The house was quaint, small, almost cottage-like in its appearance. Alex and Bobby withdrew their guns as they approached the door and knocked. No one answered. The go-ahead to break down the door resulted in a broken window and teams bursting into the house. The first thing Alex saw as she moved to the left – Bobby to the right followed by other teams headed for the basement – was the wall peppered with newspaper clippings. It took a moment for her to register it all and she froze.

The entire thing was about her.

Things began fitting themselves into the lose puzzle she and Bobby had managed to fit together. The motive wasn't anything like greed, or jealousy, but indeed revenge like they'd guessed. The revenge wasn't just against the witness, however, but anyone involved in the case. The robbery in her apartment was a fit of rage that she hadn't been present, the eyes that followed her and never left her face studying her, trying to figure her out. She had been his latest target. It was all a twisted revenge scheme.

Revenge on her.

Shouts rang throughout the house bringing Alex back to the moment and hand and the need for her total concentration now that she realized that she was not the hunter, but the hunted. If they could take down this guy here and now, she'd be safe. Gun cocked, she moved off down the hall.


	8. Chapter 8

**Safest Place to Hide**

_Chapter 8 _

_Struggle_

* * *

Alex walked through the halls as silently as possible, her gun drawn. The last thing she wanted was to run into an unfriendly face now that she knew she was the newest target in a twisted journey of death and retribution. She had a semi-stalker, those feelings she'd experienced weren't just her imagination acting up. It gave her a twisted sense of closure, but one that left her completely on edge. Right now, they didn't know where Patrick Sparks was and until they found him she was in danger.

She met up with Bobby half way down the hall where the kitchen opened slightly into the hall. Her eyes held fear turning his concerned and curious. Alex didn't give him time to figure it out, but stepped in front of him, ready to turn the corner. What she hadn't expected was the bullet that came from one of the rooms just off the corner. It caught her left shoulder and she fell with a cry. Officers were around them in an instant and Bobby's gun was already trained on the other one. As soon as Bobby was sure Patrick Sparks was cuffed and immobile, he dropped beside his partner, pulling out his cell phone and making the necessary call to emergency services.

"Alex? Talk to me." She hissed as she raised her head, having crumpled to the floor. Her left shoulder _hurt_! Reaching up to her shoulder she felt a wet substance and scolded herself internally as her hand came away red and bloody. Getting shot was not going to go over well with her family. However, she was grateful to believe the bullet hadn't been fatal. Somebody produced a cloth that her partner pressed over the wound.

"It's just a shoulder wound, I'll pull through fine," she scolded. He almost laughed in relief. Leave it to Alex to be strong in the moment she's lying on the ground with a bullet in her.

"Been shot before?" Bobby asked, determined to keep her talking.

"I'm a New York cop, what are the chances of it not happening?" she retorted her eyes fluttering closed.

"Stay with me Alex," he pleaded.

"I'm trying. What's the ETA of the ambulance?" She could feel the shock settling in and struggled against her heavy eyelids.

"Five minutes."

"Good. I can make it that long I think." Then there was a pause, her brow furrowing slightly.

"We need milk," she said, a seemingly random thought. He allowed the subject change to keep her mind off of the pain in her shoulder.

"I'll get some on the way home," he assured her, even as his mind panicked.

_I can't lose her…_

"And chocolate. I'm still offended – after how many years of working together? – that you don't keep a stash somewhere."

"I'll make sure to pick up an extra bag of chips for you," he replied taking her bloody hand in his.

"Detective?" Neither of them had been so happy to hear the voice of the ambulance personnel in their lives. Squeezing her hand, bobby stepped away and allowed them to settle Alex on a stretcher. She promptly passed out.

_Don't leave me, Alex,_ he prayed, _I can't live without you._

Then he made a split second decision.

"I'm going with her."

"Sir, we can't do that."

"I have to go with her, please." He hoped he was too terrifying of a picture with his voice so child-like and panic in his eyes probably making him look maniacal. The man sighed as he observed them loading Alex into the ambulance. Suddenly she coughed and opened her eyes meeting his. Her mouth moved but he couldn't hear the words. Then she started thrashing about and Bobby was beside her in an instant, taking her hand and telling her it was alright. He wasn't paying attention and was jolted when the ambulance started moving.

"If it's the only way to keep her shoulder still while they see how much they can fix it, then I'll let you come along," the man Bobby had pleaded with explained, settling at the bottom of the bed. Bobby nodded gratefully, his throat in no position to make any comprehensible sound.

The ride was shorter than Bobby had expected. Reluctantly, he let go of her hand as they pulled the bed out of the vehicle. He ran with them through the bay doors vaguely hearing something about a gun shot victim and needing blood. Once they turned her towards the emergency rooms, Bobby knew all he could do was wait.

He caught a passing nurse heading down the hall and asked to use the phone. She pointed to the main desk and he thanked her, taking long strides towards the young men and women crowded around it. They passed over the phone all too willingly when he explained his reasoning for using it. After all, someone had to tell Alex's family she was in the ER.

The phone calls were quick and Bobby was left to wait on news of his partner. He hadn't been sitting five minutes when Deakins strolled in, a subtler fear reflected in his eyes as he took Bobby's vacated seat. The other man began pacing restlessly, worried beyond measure since they hadn't heard news of Alex. They'd watched her being rolled in an elevator to go and extract the bullet but hadn't heard news since.

"Goren, sit down you're making me dizzy," Deakins ordered. Bobby, however, could not sit down. Not only were there no empty chairs but his nervous energy was through the roof, not because he actually had energy but his worry was making his stomach do uncomfortable somersaults.

The next to arrive were Alex's parents and family included her nephew, the boy she'd carried for nine months. The worry on their faces matched Bobby's and he tried to explain what happened as best he could without completely reliving it himself. Now, his only concern was making sure Alex was going to be patched up okay.

**

* * *

**

Some time later, when Bobby had exhausted himself enough to fall asleep in a hospital chair – a testament to the doubles he and Alex had been pulling on a different case – someone came down to ask for the family of Alexandra Eames. Deakins elbowed Bobby awake and they all made their way up to room 283 where Alex was awake and asking for her partner. Originally, Bobby had waved the family in first, but they insisted he go first, since Alex was asking for him, not them. Slowly, Bobby opened the door to his partner's hospital room, slightly afraid of what he was going to find.

Regardless of her small stature, Alex had never failed to fill up a room until that moment. She looked so much smaller with the IV tube in her arm and shoulder bandaged. Gently, he took her good hand in his, running his thumb over the back of it. Alex stirred slightly, opening her eyes to meet his. She smiled, squeezing his large fingers with her more delicate ones.

"I told you I'd be just fine," she murmured, speech only slightly slurred due to the drugs. He smiled reassuringly, all too aware of how breakable this made her look.

"Go back to sleep," he told her noticing her eyes fluttering. She allowed her eyes to close softly, the smile not leaving her face.

"Stay?" she asked softly, feeling herself drift off to sleep.

"You're family's outside and they want to see you," he protested. Alex shrugged her good shoulder without opening her eyes.

"I want you here. Please?" He couldn't deny her, not after everything he'd been through in the last four hours, not to mention the pain she would endure. Instead, he continued to stroke the back of her hand until she drifted off.

Bobby watched her for a little while longer before he couldn't stand the sight any more. His head was still trying to wrap itself around the fact that while she was very much alive, especially after the scenarios that had bombarded his brain in the hours he'd been waiting where Alex hadn't made it. He'd never thought of his life without her and suddenly, it was all he could picture. His mind flashed back to her maternity leave and the hell it had been without her to ground him, remind him that he was still completely sane. The thoughts that were bombarding his already tired mind were making his heart squeeze painfully in his chest. He smiled politely at Alex's family when he left, telling them everything they wanted to know as fast as he could so he could get out of the hospital faster. He apologized to Deakins for having to leave so abruptly, turning down his offer for a ride if Bobby could wait just a few more minutes.

He wanted along, vaguely going towards streets that would lead him to his apartment but even that was a place he didn't actually want to visit. Instead, his feet began to take him on another course as he focused on his partner. He'd gotten rather used to having a domestic relationship with her. She'd managed to change him so completely with her presence he was sure he would be spending much more time at her apartment once she moved back in just to have some semblance of those moments. At first, it had been weird having someone else share his personal space but the feeling was quickly dispensed with when his brain connected that this was Alex, the one woman who knew him almost better than his mother. He'd become used to her over-happy morning attitude after her first cup of coffee and eating home cooked meals… It dawned on him that he'd come within inches of losing her, literally.

He looked up and shook his head. Without his knowledge his feet carried him to her apartment building. Slowly, he climbed the stairs and took out the key she'd given him for emergencies. The place was covered in fingerprint powder, though most of the glass had been swept up and away. Bobby picked up a stray magazine page off the floor as he made his way through her apartment to her bedroom. The bed still had the knife cut in the one side but Bobby didn't care as he flopped onto the other one. Then he did something he hadn't done in a long, long time.

Bobby Goren cried.


	9. Chapter 9

**Safest Place to Hide**

_Chapter 9 _

_Giving Up_

* * *

Alex awoke in the white hospital room with her shoulder stinging painfully. She realized they'd cut back on the painkiller and hissed as she tried to move the joint. Her memory came stuttering back and she flinched. Staring at the ceiling, she reflected on her stupidity.

She should have seen the signs. The eyes she'd met across the road had not been coincidence. The robbery had not been a robbery but a fit of rage that she had not been home when he came calling. Then it hit her.

Bobby was probably blaming himself.

He was the profiler, he was the one that had accompanied her to the office, who comforted her in her nightmares. She was positive that if I weren't for the morphine drip in her arm over the last couple of days she wouldn't have slept at all without her partner beside her. They'd created a routine, one that she missed more than she'd ever admit.

Looking up at the ceiling again, she hoped he was okay.

**

* * *

**

Bobby walked into interrogation alone to face Patrick Sparks. He hadn't wanted to do it, but he knew that it would have been for worse of Alex to be there to watch. Plus, he wanted to understand the psychopath that wanted to stalk his partner and kill her. Vaguely he understood the motive. Patrick truly believed that they system had screwed up and sent the wrong man to jail. Thus, he set out for revenge on everyone involved: the key witness, and the woman that had lured his father in.

At the same time his mind screamed at him for being stupid. He was the one trained to see this kind of thing, to see the signs of a stalker or violent person. He'd comforted Alex in her nightmares of eyes across the street, taken her in when her apartment was broken into, totally missed the connection to Alex when they'd decided this was about another case that Horace Mitchell had been a witness for and he felt ultimately responsible for her shooting.

Patrick Sparks looked up as Bobby sat down, malice in his eyes.

"The bitch dead yet?" Bobby said nothing. As angry as he was that this man, a man who had to rights to his partner in any way, shape or form, was insulting his partner, he knew the value of keeping his cool. It was more important for Alex and every one else to see Patrick Sparks go to jail. It wouldn't help if he were on his way there too. It was an interrogation he dreaded almost more than the ones with Nicole Wallace/ Elizabeth Hitchens. This wasn't about him at all, but could hurt him just as easily.

Alex had become his world.

"On the contrary, Detective Eames will recover just fine." This only seemed to anger Sparks more. Bobby was very happy they'd cuffed him to the table. Bobby sat across from him, careful of his heavily beating heart and the red glaze of anger in his mind.

"The murder had no real motive, did it? It was a perfect crime, kill the witness and get the investigator in the process. This was about revenge."

"The bitch was the reason my father is rotting in jail. He was my last family," he spat back. The red in Bobby's mind became that much more solid.

"She ruined my life!"

"By locking away the only person you could count on, the only person you felt truly loved you.

"She took it away. She took away my life." Bobby nodded sadly.

"So you had to take hers." It was the first time the thought had truly hit home for him. Sure, he'd realized that Alex could have been gone in the blink of an eye – just a few inches down and to the right and the bullet would have killed her instantly – but he'd put it to the back of his mind. Even with the nightmares of his life without her, he'd managed to stave off the thoughts that she could have actually died. Here and now, it was different. The man's words cemented the thought in his brain and he couldn't let it go.

"I almost had her, too." Bobby absorbed this statement much slower than usual. 75 of his brain was focused on losing Alex. Emotions were bombarding him from all sides as he realized what the loss of Alex would truly mean. It was the first time he'd ever even ventured to name the unknown feeling he'd been experiencing in her presence. To admit he loved Alex would be opening himself up for the greatest pains of his life, greater than losing her.

"That bitch ruined me." The whispered words snapped Bobby's tenuous control on his emotions. He was up in a flash, hand gripping Sparks' collar as he growled.

"Alex is not a bit. She is an upstanding citizen and one hell of an officer. She was doing her job, following orders and evidence. You killed an innocent man in cold blood and shot an officer of the NYPD. She's twenty times the person you will ever be." Reluctantly, Bobby removed his hand and turned to his files, packing them away in his portfolio. Finally, he walked to the door, turning before he closed it.

"I hope you rot in jail with your father."

**

* * *

**

Alex looked to the door as it opened and hope flooded her chest. However, the man who walked through the door was not her partner, but her captain.

"How are you feeling?" She smiled tiredly. She'd seen her family multiple times, many of her work colleagues – Carver had even come twice – and a few of her friends but the one person she'd shared an apartment with, spilled some of her deepest secrets and insecurities with, was nowhere to be found. Sure, he'd called numerous times over the last week, but hadn't visited once since the first day.

Subconsciously, and partly consciously since she'd been alone and thinking, she understood his aversion. She'd had plenty of time to consider the working of Bobby Goren's fears and had become well aware that he'd seen her at her most vulnerable, at her weakest. She wouldn't be surprised if that had broken some of his faith in her immortality. Or, at the very least, broken a few levels off of her pedestal and settled her more in the realm of reality.

She hadn't realized how long she'd been quite for until Deakins settled a hand on her arm.

"He's had a rough time with it too, Alex," the captain said gently. "The interrogation…"

"That bad?" The question was whispered fearfully.

"He did what he had to do, Alex, but without the usual Goren gusto. He lost control in the end, we almost had to call in backup." Alex shook her head, having not comprehended the full effect of her injury on her unstable partner.

"In fact, he froze after Sparks mentioned he almost killed you." Alex shivered at the thought. She'd realized long ago that she'd been lucky she'd flattened herself against the wall when she did. Any later, and that bullet would have torn through her heart and she wouldn't be lying in the hospital, alive and breathing. Originally, the thought had scared her out of her wits, but it had taught her something too. Her life wasn't going to last forever. She may never get lucky like this again. Everything became clearer to her then. Bobby's actions since the shooting, his reluctance to come and see her…

He did care, that's why he was so scared.

"Alex?"

"I'll be fine Captain," she said with a tight smile. "I'm on light duty in two weeks if I can manage it." Deakins nodded.

"I'll send a tech to hook up your laptop to the databases outside of the precinct. When are you supposed to be back on full duty?"

"Six weeks, providing I don't strain my shoulder."

"I don't want to see you for four. Take a break, Alex. You deserve it." She smiled tightly as he left before she returned to contemplating the ceiling, and her partner.


	10. Chapter 10

**Safest Place to Hide**

_Chapter 10 _

_Holding On_

* * *

Alex sighed as she took at seat at her desk, her shoulder stinging. She hated being shot. As well as she knew it came with the territory it didn't make it any less painful. More than that, she hated Patrick Sparks. He'd had no motive for killing except revenge, revenge for something he had no control over, a belief that the system had screwed up and cost him his father. She berated herself for not seeing it a long time before hand. The clues had been scattered throughout the case, though it had looked like they were something completely different. It made her feel like a bad cop.

From the beginning, the break in at her apartment just over a month ago and meeting his eyes from across the road, clues popped up leading to the reason for the shooting of Horace Mitchell and her nightmares. Even now, she shivered, remembering the nightmares she'd been battling since she realized someone had been through her most personal belongings.

It had been weeks now, since she'd felt truly productive, even if Deakins had managed to find someone to hook her home computer up to the network so she could work from home. She'd never been so happy for light duty in her life, though she'd followed her captain's orders and stayed home four weeks. Though, light duty meant paperwork, something that still had to be done. Once she settled her arm relatively comfortably, she found she could do most of the work rather efficiently, cutting her pile down to nothing and feeling generous enough to start in on Bobby's, which was backlogged something like a month and a half.

It wasn't until Deakins walked out to refill his coffee that she was noticed. He stood with his hands in his pockets until she looked up.

"I thought you were supposed to be resting at home," he said gently. Alex smiled slightly.

"I was going stir-crazy. I promise I won't do anything other than paperwork," she answered. Deakins nodded slowly with a look that screamed he was going to keep a very close eye on her.

"Goren's out with a rookie chasing down leads on one case or another." Alex smiled, remembering her moments of maternity leave and Bobby's stint with a temporary partner.

"Let's hope this rookie gets out alive," she suggested. Deakins laughed and left her alone.

It wasn't an hour and a half later when Bobby and a young man came through the door to the bullpen. Alex almost laughed at the picture they made. Bobby was muttering something under his breath – a technique he'd picked up to straighten around his thoughts when she wasn't around – not even paying attention to his surroundings. The kid, for that's how young the poor man looked, was staring with a mixture of awe, confusion and fear. He spotted Alex and a look of relief washed over his face.

_Better you than me,_ his eyes said. She smiled and nodded politely, vaguely sorry for the young man before she turned back to the larger man in front of her, still oblivious to her presence.

"Already riding a rookie?" she asked nonchalantly, setting down her pen. Bobby looked up startled. He hadn't seen her since the first day in the hospital. It had hurt Alex but it gave her a much better understanding of the inner workings of Bobby Goren. He had many fears that he tried to keep well hidden and 95 of the time, it was a walk in the park. However, Alex, in her years of working with him, had learned to read his postures and movements, since he rarely gave anything away in his face. As hurt as she'd been, she realized it had nothing on how injured Bobby was. Her injury showed that she was not immortal, that she could leave him, and it blew away beliefs he needed to cement his sanity to reality. It had shaken him to the core to see her helpless, weak and vulnerable in that hospital bed.

"Alex?" He blinked once to make sure she was really there. Alex gave him a reassuring smile.

"I've been cleared for light duty so don't get all protective. Not to mention I've made a good dent in your paperwork as well as mine. I deserve a thank you," she told him folding her good arm across her desk. He was still dumbfounded and silent. She noticed his eyes had a slightly glazed look and felt panic start to rise in her throat.

"Bobby?" She allowed herself a sigh of relief when his eyes focused on hers. However, his lost and panicked look had her restraining herself from getting up and plunking herself on his lap like he had done when she was scared, her on his lap, his arms around her, grounding her.

"Hey," she said softly, stretching her hand across their desks for the physical connection she understood he needed. She knew they had another, invisible connection and knew he had the utmost faith in that bond. He would have known if she had died, just as she felt his heart-wrenching pain and fear. That connection had not been broken but she'd been out for four weeks. It had shaken his routine and way of thinking.

As his hand grasped hers they submerged themselves in a world all their own. Her unconditional caring and his child-like fears settled them in safety. This was a place where nothing could harm them and punt them just under the line that defined reality. His thumb stroked the back of her hand, much like it had that day in the hospital when she drifted between sleep and awareness. It was a grounding post for him, just like it had been for her.

"You're back," he said finally, the reality of it sinking in with his softly spoken words.

"Its just light duty," she repeated. "I won't be chasing leads for at least another two weeks. Think you can stay out of trouble for that long?" The smile that blossomed over his face told her things words never could. Her restored humour was his comfort.

"How are you?" he asked her quietly, She considered lying, telling him she was great but the idea quickly fled her mind. He wanted the honest truth and she owed him that much.

"Not so good. It's healing but it still hurts," she told him, avoiding half of his question. He allowed her that victory, still basking in the knowledge that she was going to be just fine.

It was slightly difficult for Bobby to process everything that was flashing through his mind. A million different emotions flitted through his consciousness: relief, joy, excitement, contentment and another emotion he was slightly reluctant to outright name. Bobby had just as much time to ponder his relationship with Alex as she had. Where she had long ago realized she couldn't imagine her life without him and easily labelled the emotion as love, Bobby had not, for the fear of the things he was opening himself up to. Now, he had no choice. To mask his epiphany – a useless move since Alex had watched him go through the same thoughts she had – he cracked a smile.

"So does this mean you're going to finish my paperwork?" He couldn't stop the playful grin that crept across his face at her angry look. He'd never felt so happy and so glad he had a grip on the only hand she could use as a weapon. She looked murderous.

"Not even a thank you for doing some of it?" she shot back, knowing words were her only weapon. He had her good hand clasped in his – she was reluctant to move it anyway – and her other was in a sling, lying useless against her body. For a few minutes while he turned back to his work, she thought he was okay. Then she constantly caught his gaze as he looked up to reassure himself she was really sitting across from him and realized he was shaken much deeper than she'd originally imagined.

"What?" he asked after a while. She made a decision. He needed to talk about his fears and she needed to reassure him she wasn't leaving.

"Let's take a break. I've been sitting all morning while you've been out and about with New York's finest." She stood, moving to the door and picking up her coat. It was too much of a struggle to put it on and she opted to carry it instead. Bobby caught up to her in the lobby, coat on and delicate mask in place. He looked her up and down taking her coat and holding it out for her to slip into. She slipped her arm in then paused well aware of the stinging pain any pull on her shoulder still caused. He didn't force her to put it in, just settled the other side over her injured shoulder. Alex smiled her thanks as she cocked her head to the doors.

They wandered down the New York streets. Nothing was said for a while, their month of domesticity bestowing them with a comfort level that allowed them to carry on silent conversations. Finally, they found a bench in a small park and Alex took a seat. Bobby continued to stand, gazing down at his delicate partner. Alex could tell no matter what she had figured out on her own, there was still much he held back.

While she allowed him time to ponder his starting point, she reflected on their moments of past sharing. He'd slowly opened up about his family, just as she had and they gained a deep-rooted trust. It was what happened when you shared your deepest darkest secrets and insecurities with another person. Alex's confidence in this carefully woven and secured trust that made her encourage him to let go.

"Talk to me Bobby." Her request was spoken softly, firmly. His gaze focused on her and she could tell he'd been playing a moment like this through his head for a while.

"You could have died." This thought had already occurred to Alex and so it didn't affect her to think about it. Instead, she nodded, understanding that she had gotten out lucky. Though she understood Bobby's fear – a fear of being left alone, a fear of life without someone to organize his scattered thoughts – Alex needed to hear it from him to assure her he understood them.

"I almost lost my partner, my best friend…"_ the woman I love._ The last was kept to himself. "I don't think… I couldn't handle it. I can't imagine walking into that bullpen and seeing someone else where you should be and suddenly it was all I could see, all I could picture." She allowed him the ensuing silence, well aware he wasn't finished. She was also aware of how much this was costing her partner. He didn't admit things easily, the sparse things she knew beforehand a testament to his coveted privacy though a trait she'd tried to break him of over the say in his apartment. These were moments where she could see the personal Bobby, not just the professional genius. He stopped abruptly and dropped to his knee to be at her eye-level.

"It scared me," he admitted, a revelation that sent Alex reeling. Despite their long talks in the darkness of his apartment, she was not prepared for this unconditional display of trust. She was awed, honoured and humbled by it.

"I'm still here," she assured him, pulling him to sit on the bench with her and resting her head on the familiar groove of his shoulder. His arm snaked around her waist and she smiled as his head rested on hers. After a few moments, she felt him take a deep breath and mentally braced herself.

"I love you, Alex." The smiled that spread over her face lit up the darkest corners of Bobby Goren's world. She'd lifted her head to face him and settled her good hand on his cheek.

"I've been waiting for you to say that," she whispered. He looked shocked and she continued, telling him how she felt after being shot.

"It hurt when you never came by again. We'd made some awesome progress in our personal relationship while I was at your place and then… it started to feel like you were abandoning me." She held up her hand as he opened his mouth to speak and settled it on his lips when they closed. She smiled softly.

"You didn't mean to, I know that, but it didn't stop the feelings. I love you too, Bobby, very, very much." It was his turn to grin widely as he leaned his forehead to hers.

"I love you," he said again, kissing her softly. Alex hummed in happiness as his lips continuously met hers. Finally, his lips crashed down hard on hers. She opened her mouth under his and he took the invitation, plunging his tongue into her mouth. She couldn't help the moan that escaped her throat. His hands began to wander lightly as hers tangled in the hair at his neck. Their passion was cut short when his hand accidentally pulled her too tight, pushing on her injured shoulder. She gasped and pulled away, closing her eyes against the sudden onslaught of pain. When she opened them again, he was looking down at her, concern shining in every muscle. She gave him a reassuring smile and kissed him again briefly.

"I'm fine, Bobby."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. Alex rolled her eyes with a smile.

"I'm injured Bobby, but I'm not made of glass. The pain will go away." He smiled and stood, helping Alex to stand and keeping a hold on her hand. He stopped them two blocks away from One Police Plaza.

"Come home with me?" he asked, knowing he had to let go of her hand. Alex smiled brightly.

"Always."

* * *

**_Thanks for staying with this one. I hope you enjoyed all of it!_**


End file.
